I dont know about you, but bedtimes are this random battle of either loviness, or hassle. After a recent bedtime I thought I would write down the 5 steps of bedtime that we normally go through.

  1. Being strongly advised by darling child that she DOES NOT NEED THE TOILET!
  2. Needing to play with army of toys that live on bed.
  3. Searching for missing toy.
  4. Can I have a drink?
  5. Looking for above drink.
  6. Being “helped” to find the above mentioned drink.
  7. Encouraging to stop drinking above drink.
  8. Being asked to fetch a different blanket from a different room.
  9. Rearranging bed to accommodate new blanket.
  10. Negotiations over where trapped parent should be.
  11. Be advised not to go downstairs yet by darling child.
  12. Negotiation over how long trapped parent stays upstairs.
  13. Going to the toilet.
  14. Child reminded to go to bed.
  15. Parent sneaks down stairs. Celebrates the meaning of freedom.
  16. Parent sinks into depression and realises the “adulting” they have to get on with.
  17. Parent drinks wine. Resolves above emotional crises.
  18. Child comes downstairs.
  19. Repeat the above.

Because there was always going to be more than 5 steps of bedtime that we go through in the evening.

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